Week 4

Well, I've been here about a month now, and overall, it's going pretty darn well. As far as my job goes, I'm starting to feel a little bit more like I know what I'm doing...until somebody asks me what pair of pants they're supposed to wear and where those pants might happen to be and I just look at the nearest costuming cast member with a look of sheer panic on my face, but hey! One step at a time, right?

So, on Monday, I got called in for a "special project." I was like, "Oh! Special project, huh? Sounds pretty cool, and I need the hours, so what the hey! Let's do this!" Ah, sweet naivete. Essentially, we had to clear out a storage room by hauling boxes and boxes of overstocked accessories, transfer them from 2nd floor to 1st in the computer system, go through the ones already on the floor and send the ratty-looking ones to destroy, and stuffing the rest of the overstock into the tiny bins with the rest of them. Now, this doesn't sound too bad, but imagine doing it for 8 hours straight, and then feeling like you barely made a dent in the storage room. *sigh* Oh well. It's over now, and I'm sure we did help.

Working back stage at Disneyland is interesting. I hear my roommates and other CPs talking about making these wonderful, magical moments for little kids and families. It's wonderful, and I love hearing their stories, but at the same time, it makes me feel a little left out. Am I missing out on the magic because I'm not interacting with little kids and park guests all day? Maybe. But at the same time, my job has its own kind of magic to it in a way. Yeah, it can certainly get monotonous, but it does allow me to have time alone in my head or time to get to know my co-workers. Yes, people sometimes get angry and frustrated with me because their account is frozen or I don't know how to do something on the computer system, but people have also been extremely grateful to me for helping them find something, or even just giving them a smile and telling them "Stay strong, brother! Once more unto the breach!" as they're heading out into the heat.

This past Saturday, I was having a particularly difficult day. I didn't really know what to do with myself, and the entire morning I was on the verge of crying. I was really nervous to go into work, because I really didn't want to mess something up because I couldn't focus. I got there a little early, so I sat in a sunny little corner for a bit. I just tried to calm myself down and breathe really slowly, remembering that although the night had been difficult, things were looking much better this morning. I resolved that I was going to try my hardest to make somebody's day better and just be as helpful as I could instead of focusing on my own worries. There was absolutely nothing I could do about them anyway, so I wanted to focus on what I could do for somebody else. It ended up being a wonderful day.

So, when I'm feeling bummed out that I don't get to directly bring that smile to some kid's face, I just have to remember that I can bring a smile to the cast member's face who might, in turn, transfer that smile to that kid. I do have a part in all of this, and even the monotony itself can help pull me out of the stress of my life outside of work.